Saturday, 8 April 2017

This Is Where I'm At | April

She's so hard to please but she's a forest fire

In early March, I flew home to daffodils and Vitamin D and my first, but hopefully not last, Key Lime pie. I always look forward to these trips so much, this one in particular because I took the time to reach out to people and fill my time at home with catching up. But with returning to a place that changes so slowly, nostalgia arrives. And with it, an inescapable measuring of then versus now, what's changed? I shared with my parents my half-ambition to do a master's degree, unsure if I was convincing them or myself. I was grateful for stolen conversations with Belfast-based friends, and realised that if I haven't fully realised my life's greatest ambitions, I have become more open and trusting, and I do have people who listen.
I think that weekend set the tone for the month. Topsy turvy. Glimpses of spring and then great downpours.

I went to see the ineffably talented Orla Gartland support Declan McKenna, and lost some hours thinking about how teenagehood is an unparalleled time time when you have self-loathing and ego in equal measure. I went to Thorpe Park, a beautiful place, even for someone with vertigo who's terrified of rollercoasters. Yes, really. I enjoyed being on set for a bit of Bry's next music video set, always quietly amazed at the things people can do, the power of collaboration.

I made baby steps towards a better me; as I've said before, spring is a much better time for self-improvement than January could ever be. I joined a fitness class, ran 5k every Saturday, batch-cooked lunches, explored the countryside we live in, did something I've been putting off for months if not years.

I saw Get Out, a masterpiece. I can't stop recommending it to people. Also Beauty and the Beast which was just lovely. My annual obsession with Broadchurch is ongoing, and I'm also almost done with Girls. I bet it's not often those two shows go in the same sentence. Reading slowed a little last month, but I was floored by Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi. It pulled me out of my own head in big, important ways.

I don't know what to expect from April. Honestly, I'm more concerned with slowly learning what to expect from myself. 

Yours, yellow,


  1. Good article, you sharing is awesome, love it!

  2. Hey! I miss your online presence! I hope you will return someday.