Sunday, 4 December 2016

This Is Where I'm At | December

A note from my iPhone, 17th November:

I am good, I am grounded 
I think I'm getting it now. That home is him and sometimes here and it'll always be there. And the woman from the Caribbean talked about the power we each have to give other a lifeline and my god. It's true. 


There's a November predictability. The leaves will fall. We'll see frost. There's not enough of the year left and yet, it can't end quick enough. Someone ends up hooked up to a toxic mixture of drugs, again. 

I wrote the above note on the train home from seeing a moving museum performance called 'London Stories: Made By Migrants'. In a small group, you go into six rooms and hear stories from six people about how they ended up in London. It was unbelievably emotional, and I felt like a flaky little thing that blew in, by comparison, but it helped me feel able to take ownership of some small corner of this city. I am here. 

Okay, okay, let's talk about the two nights when Bry supported twenty one pilots at the Alexandra Palace. (We could also talk about the day in between where we flew to Ireland for a wedding and danced like two people who didn't have to fly back the next morning.) I got to share in an experience that is completely and utterly what people call a once in a lifetime experience. I got to see twenty one pilots perform - and what they do feels like the exact definition of perform. Knowing come Tuesday morning, I'd be back at work, and wouldn't breathe a word of how unbelievable and transformative my weekend was, was secretly kind of thrilling. Hannah Montana! 

I did better at making time to see friends in November. I went to see Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them and really enjoyed it. I got to see Bry's entire family during another Dublin weekend. I also saw Catfish and The Bottlemen play live for the first time and half of U2 were in the same room. I realised that if every weekend involved a flight back to a certain emerald isle - Christmas shopping with my mum, playing catch with Lucy the dog - then life would be much sweeter. I ended the month with a Christmas party at Pan Macmillan and admittedly, felt a little festive for the first time.

I am so glad to see you, December. You know I hate counting days but we established that as the crux of our relationship a long time ago. 19 days until I can get on a plane, push through frostbitten clouds and touchdown at the place I call home. 

Gilmore Girls came back. My all-time favourite TV show. I have too many thoughts on that to bore you with. I've been listening to Bry's debut album, because it came out in November and it was the most exciting thing that has ever happened. The Missing wrapped up and it was some of the finest British TV of the year. I've been reading whatever turns up on my doorstep, which is fun and varied and I will make a video about it soon. 

Yours, hanging in there,
Candice