Saturday, 1 August 2015

This Is Where I'm At | August

Take a breath and count the stars, let the world go round without you.

AUGUST. What are you doing here!?
August is the month of my birth but a month I never enjoyed greeting because it meant summer holidays from school were as good as over. I don't have that problem anymore, but I still can't believe I'm almost ready to age-level-up once more, feeling like the infinite possibility summer brings is slowing pouring out of a sand-filled egg timer somewhere.

Okay, July.
We got back from tour right as this month kicked off, and jetlag affected me weirdly, making my body enjoy going to bed very early, and waking up with the sun. It lasted for a while but it's safe to say I am back to my old routine of going to bed very early, and waking up with my second or third alarm. Graduation rolled around and I haven't quite talked about this, but I was really disappointed with the marks I got when I finished my degree. I came very very close to getting the grade I wanted, but just missed it. For this reason, graduation was not something I was looking forward to, but I got my dress taken in (ASOS size charts melt my brain) and bought some shoes and attended. I harp on about education so much but GOSH I am grateful that I got a chance to study, often more for pleasure than for purpose. My parents never had that option when they were my age, yet they're right there encouraging me to return next year for a Masters degree, and just happy that I'm happy. FAVES. So graduation was weird and sad and happy and underwhelming and too much all at once.

It was approximately 12 hours after graduation that I realised I was too broke to make it through the rest of July, so I did what had to be done and I got a boring full time job. It's a weird one, because it's not a space where I can talk about Youtube or any of my actual interests, so I lead a bizarre second life where I just tell people half-stories and talk in half-conversations and I very much feel like a teeny tiny fraction of myself. But it is only temporary, do not fear.

August's plans include a little trip to Romania and some of its neighbouring countries, and also my fifth Summer In The City. I'm excited for both of those weekends because it feels like a return to normality after these past few weeks. (Okay, reality check: my life is very cool when normalcy involves flights and fun.)

I'm currently thinking about the wonderful Rudderless soundtrack, whilst trying to finalise merchandise designs for SITC and penning a long but completely fantastical shopping basket on the aforementioned ASOS. In July I really tried, and I know I'll continue to reap the rewards of that effort for a while to come. For some strange reason I find myself thinking of my star sign (something to do with the lyric I opened this post with) and how you can make a horoscope applicable to yourself if you try hard enough and clutch at straws. August will be AMAZING.*
*clutching may be required.

Yours, -38.75 hours a week,


  1. Loved this! These reflections type posts are so interesting (especially for nosy people like myself) :P I'm so sorry to hear that you didn't get the marks you wanted, it sucks that you were so close :( Just remember that everything happens for a reason and there really is more to life than just education. It sounds like you're gonna go far regardless. I hope you're having a wonderful day, keep smiling!!

    -Nabeela xo

  2. I love your blog, your writing is so eloquent! Sorry to hear about your marks, it sucks that you were so close and it tainted your day. Are you going straight in to a masters?

    1. No I'm wandering for a year, and if I wander in a direction that isn't MA then that's okay too :)

  3. I, too, find myself thinking of my star sign and clutching desperately to its vague yet oddly inspiring predictions (Plus, Free People has wonderfully cheesy graphic designs to front each of their weekly horoscope blog posts. Score!). At this time, I sometimes wonder if I am trying to fit the mold a bit too much - trying to find structure in something in this post-grad life. School defined me in many ways, and in losing that....well.

    Good luck in your August adventures. xx

    1. Ah, I completely agree. I do think it's possible to find that structure and to retain a studious attitude for life, but I'm still trying to figure that out.
      Thank you <3