"Will you love me in December as you do in May?"
I quote Jack Kerouac. You'd be surprised at how often I have done that over the past six months. By the end of this month, my dissertation will be finished and maybe I won't ever have to quote him again. People ask about my dissertation frequently, and I will definitely make a video about it when it's done and graded, but you should know the Beat writers are my favourite problematic faves.
April! Tour! I recently reviewed a book of Chris Guillbeau's on my channel, in which he talks about trying to put into words a life-changing experience once it's over, for the curiosity of people who weren't there. Though our UK and Ireland tour wasn't life-changing, it was a very unique experience and so far I don't know how to document/reflect on such events in ways that don't involve emojis and the Twitter app.
I have just over two weeks of university left. Possibly forever. Probably not. When I was 18, I was so bursting with love for the secondary school I'd stumbled and glided through for almost 7 years, yet also COMPLETELY ready to leave it behind. I remember my history teacher once saying, 'you're ready for something new now, right?' She was right, and she would be right if she said it today. It's not that I've outgrown my university, God, to be intelligent enough for that to be a possibility, but I think some things in life are designed to shape you for the next step and then you have to let go.
Except letting go feels like the second you take your foot off the step and you think there's another step but there's NOT and the split-second of ARRGGHWHAT?! is where my head is at right now. But I will be okay. I am writing and writing, and when I pause from writing essays, I write articles, I apply for writing jobs, I write outlines for future writing projects. I write this. Where there is write there is... rightness? YEAH.
Today, I saw my parents and ate Crunchie cheesecake and drove in the rain. And if nothing else is a constant in life, dessert with my family and Northern Irish weather always will be.
Last night we watched Orphan (2009) and it was absolutely bloody terrifying and I hated myself for enjoying it. I've been listening to whatever playlist comes my way on 8tracks.com, which is a lovely music-based website for those of you studying and not Spotify savvy.
It is time to be Rory Gilmore.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.